A beginner’s guide to TANTRA

Mention tantra, and you would probably imagine exotic lovemaking for hours to sitar music and on an oriental rug. However, tantra actually covers all aspects of life, including health, belief and philosophy. Tantric sex is the sexual side of tantra, but people have come to understand the two terms as synonymous.

Read on for a beginner’s guide to tantra (including tantric sex).


Tantra is a Way of Life

Tantra is a set of spiritual beliefs about one’s self and the universe, and practices for integrating the mind, body and soul, that originated in India over 2000 years ago. People who practice Tantra are called Tantrikas.

Tantrikas will tell you that love is at the very heart of Tantra. The practices work to create conditions necessary for love to flourish and endure. They quiet the mind, open your awareness to sensation, raise your energy vibration, and help you cultivate a sacred attitude towards yourself, others and events in your life. At the end of a practice, if done correctly, you should be filled with bliss and full of vibrant energy. Doing Tantric practices lets you connect with what is present and what you want to create in your life. When you achieve states of presence, energy flow, relaxation, harmony, and connection, love emerges and opens the heart.


It is said that Tantra assists you in realizing your full potential as a human being. You will transform your life and discover bliss. Tantric principles and practices can be applied to all areas of life, including your health and emotional well-being, sex and relationships, and spirituality.

The benefits of Tantric practices include terrific sexual fulfillment, deeper connection and intimacy in your relationships, emotional harmony and balance, endless health and vitality, enhanced intuition + inspiration, boundless love, and playful, ecstatic awareness.

And Now We Come to Tantric Sex

Tantric sex is about Consciousness. For most people the focus during sex is on the end goal – the orgasm. We get so lost in the rush to get there that we lose out on the pleasure of the journey. The idea of Tantra is simply to be present with your partner, to acknowledge each other and the love you share.

Here is a simple tantric “sexercise”:

1) Clothes off, begin by sitting on his lap, facing him, and wrapping your legs around his waist. Gaze into each other’s eyes. In each session, focus on one (and only one) of your partner’s eyes. It is often said that the eyes are the windows to the soul, thus looking into your partner’s eyes and him looking into yours gives you both the opportunity to share a soul connection, to go beyond the physical into something deep and special.

2) Next, synchronize your breathing. Breathe in together, exhale together. Do this for at least 5 minutes.


3) Next, move into “breath exchange”. You inhale when he exhales, and exhale when he inhales, as though you’re breathing each other in. Do this for at least 10 minutes.

4) Move into kissing and caressing. In time, begin slow intercourse, but continue caressing and kissing. Keep eye contact. As you become more proficient, you may develop the ability for prolonged orgasm, where you remain at the peak of ecstatic pleasure without climaxing. There are all the feelings of a typical orgasm, but it lasts for many minutes (or even hours). This leads to profound sexual and emotional merging.

Having a reverence for your partner is at the core of Tantric sex. Of course it also enables you to reach new heights of sexual pleasure and even tap your heightened sexual energy for creative use in other areas of your life.

A Final Word..

Cultivating states of presence, energy flow, relaxation, harmony, and connection is not always easy. A lifetime of negative experiences has gradually limited our ability to be present and to love fully and freely. In a gentle yet powerful way, Tantric practices break up and wash away residues of our past that hold us back from unlimited love and intimacy.

The wonderful world of Tantra offers us a way of life, of love, and of having amazing sex. Above all else, the goal of any Tantric experience is love, joy and inspiration.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this post, and please feel free to share this with friends and family! If you have any questions or comments just leave them below and I’ll be more than happy to get back to you.

12 thoughts on “A beginner’s guide to TANTRA”

  1. Hello Clark, I have never seen tantra in this light before and now that I read this, I find it a whole lot more fascinating because you can tell us about how it works and how it can help us attain a lot more than sexual pleasure. This is something I’d like to use and surely your tips too on sex with my partner.

    • Yes, tantra is a way of life and includes more than just the sexual side of things. In many ways, I see similarities between tantra and meditation. Both quiet the mind, align us with the Universe and allow our vibration (good feelings, energy, joy) to rise. 

  2. Wow, I never thought of tantra that way before. I like how you provided a holistic explanation to tantra and its origins. I learned something new and thanks for the steps you outlined. Definitely something to try out. I hope you will say more on this topic especially the part of transferring all that heightened energy and awareness to other areas of life.

    • Well, I have written a series on that, transferring heightened energy to other areas of life. You just need to click the blue link above, see?

      I’m glad you learned something new and hope you have fun practicing!

  3. I have to say, Tantrikas really know the best ways to enjoy life. I’ve heard a lot about tantra but mostly the intimacy part, the long hours of pleasure and of course, the oriental rug but the synchronizing of our breathing as if the very air belongs to both of us during the moment is definitely something I need to try, it brings up the moment like no other. Definitely trying this out!

    • I’m glad to hear that, and I’m sure you won’t regret it! In these times of modern technology and a fast-paced world, tantra practices can help us to feel at peace and happy as well as keep us in good health.

  4. Hmm this is interesting, I never heard of tantra before. It kind of sounds like the Buddha’s teaching of being present and meditation and stuff except for couples and more focus on love and sex.

  5. Wow. Fascinatingly scary stuff. This would certainly change my relationship with my partner, but I’m not sure either of us would know what to do with the change. Perhaps we could be surprised? Still the unknown is scary.
    Thanks for the possibilities, though.

  6. HI! What a great article! I’ve been reading self help books for years and have come across this message under numerous disguises but it all comes back to being present in the moment. As an actor, the Meisner Technique has a really great set of exercises to put you in the present moment and I’ve found that my work has really improved as a result. Tantric living is a goal I hope to embody with every breath and I move closer to that goal every day. Thanks for your article, I really enjoyed it.


Leave a Comment